A recent article from the New Statesman has revealed that only 35% of women under the age of 25 hold a positive view of men, this hostility refers to the “femosphere”. This is a shocking statistic and yet reflective of the polarised and complex political and cultural climate we are in. Last month, Louis Theroux’s Inside the Manosphere documentary shed light on the damaging views of a group of men, striving for money and success to the detriment of women. Meanwhile, statistics around violence against women and girls are stark, with one in four individuals experiencing domestic abuse. From the Lost Boys conversation to grim sexual assault stats in the UK to the men’s mental health crisis and the pressures of social media impacting both young girls and boys, it can be easy to feel really overwhelmed. It’s hard to know how we approach all these different conversations. The reality is, many people’s needs are not being met, and many are suffering.
Reading through that article and the comments made, the hostility towards men is clear. One woman said, “I don’t care for them”. Meanwhile, another was asking whether they would date a man with different political views, to which she responded, “I don’t think I’d even be friends with one”. When admitting to having male friends, one woman said she was scared this would make her seem like a “pick me” girl. It feels like there is no winning. As polls show men becoming increasingly right wing and women, left wing, it feels like there is a chasm forming between men and women. In a particularly polarised political moment, this is a scary place to be and as a Christian, this is heartbreaking to see. These stories, stats, and articles reinforce our culture’s deep longing for ultimate hope. I feel so grateful to know Jesus and to see the brokenness and challenges that society is facing through the lens of God’s better story and plan for renewal.
Over the last few weeks, I have been listening to Raye’s new album nonstop. I love it. As she journeys the listener through autumn into winter to spring and summer, she weaves a thread of hope through the struggle. In contrast to the stats in this article, we see Raye dealing with the pain of being mistreated by men, feeling like “skin and bones” and calling girls to “stay safe out there” as she acknowledges the threat of walking the streets of London alone. Significantly, this doesn’t leave her hating men and wanting to avoid them. She is still clearly seeking a husband – as expressed clearly by hit song ‘Where is my Husband?’ We can hold both the sorrows at the reality of the real pain associated with male perpetrated violence without that becoming a source of distaste towards all men. Raye still sees the value of men and ultimately reminds us that joy will come in the morning. This album is a small reminder of how we can navigate the complexities of our fallen world, looking to the day when all things will be made new.
I do not have the solution for some of the struggles that women are facing. The statistic that women under 25 are most likely to believe things are stacked against them no matter how hard they try is deeply sad. The article finishes with the quote, “To be a person that cares about other people, you’ve got to be pessimistic.” In many ways, these women are seeing something that is true. The world is broken and that is a fact. We know that we are in a fallen world and it will not be made new until the day that Jesus comes back. But the fact that He has already risen from the dead changes everything because we don’t need to be totally pessimistic about the state of things. We know that we have a true hope and that things will be made new and reconciled. The Bible calls us to love our neighbour and doing so should not leave us feeling more disappointed but delighting in Jesus as we follow in His footsteps.
Our churches are a unique and wonderful place where we come together with people from different walks of life, as men and women, young and old looking to Jesus. I am so grateful for the wonderful men that I have in my life. I’m thankful to have grown up with excellent male role models in my family and have wonderful male friends. I am heartbroken for the women that don’t feel like they have any men in their life that they can trust or bring things to. That is something to lament.
Within our churches we must be thinking about how we’re coming together as one body, as men and women, facing different struggles and listening to each other. We can’t ignore the statistics, clearly. Our culture is fraught and struggling, and we need to be thinking about how we disciple one another, talk to each other like the brothers and sisters that we are as part of the body of Christ. What a unique moment for us to be outward and to show something of Jesus’s love in a world that’s so clearly yearning for it.
So eloquently written!
A really thoughtful and refreshing read - Go Zanna! 🫶